Certifiably Insane Conversations From My Career

I love hearing completely unhinged career stories. There’s something therapeutic about finding out you’re not the only person collaborating with people who seem to come from another planet. Here are a few wild moments from my own career that I’ve been thinking about. I’ve got a million of them. Worse, after writing, I realized these all happened in the same two years.

A Good Holiday Hassling

I was doing contract software development for a subcontracting firm (basically one guy and his wife). They were managing my subcontract for a major, major defense contracting firm. I was pressured to go to the major firm’s area Christmas party. I had not met anyone in the building other than my immediate manager and one coworker who was not doing well.

An executive of some kind — who my manager had recognized as a boss’ boss type — was drifting from table to table looking very pleased with himself and possibly intoxicated. He reached our table and exchanged some banter with my manager before turning to me.

Exec: And who’s this guy?
<He was staring into my eyes but apparently talking to my manager who explained I’d been working there six months or so>
Exec: …okay great. And who’s this?
<He was now looking at my fiancée. I did my half of the introduction, still not knowing his actual name.>
Fiancée…