Please enjoy the worst product description of all time

Someone check on PlayCraft

Christmas is almost upon us, and our kiddo has been mentioning how much he enjoyed the couple of times we went to a nearby arcade and played some air hockey. And who doesn’t? Few things are as satisfying as knocking around that little gliding puck as you try to prop up the illusion that any human is better than any other at this random-ass game.

Unfortunately, legit air hockey tables are gigantic. They’re heavy, intricate, and their shape prevents them from being useful as general purpose tables when they aren’t in use. My best friend got one for Christmas while we were growing up, and his family actually kept it outside on their back porch. This turned out to be surprisingly appropriate when we got into fights over it and we had already taken it outside. Fuck you, Greg.

Air hockey manufacturers get it. Their answer? Tiny-ass air hockey tables that you can put on top of some other table when you want to play two games with someone until you’re sick of it again. But some of them want you to know they’re not happy about you and your insistence on keeping your home exit routes unobstructed by a giant game you’re rarely thinking about.

Enter PlayCraft. Without question, PlayCraft was the first brand name I thought about when we briefly explored the idea…